What are we up to?

What are you up to?

Do you ever stop to ask yourself this question?

We go through our days so quickly – we’re always so busy - preoccupied with the tiny pieces around the edges of our puzzles.

Do you ever take a step back and look at what you’re creating? Is it a scene you’re happy with? Are the pieces you’re putting together getting you to the big picture?

I do myself a favor and never really know what I’m up to. This allows me to be open and listen to my surroundings.

What’s next?

I have an idea, but I’m not in the daily business of finding out.

I toss out the pieces of the puzzle and gauge my days based on their own merit. I let the clues each day lead me to who I’m going to be and am becoming.

Is the next step you take the one that glides you into the warm embrace of your destiny? Probably not, so don't treat every little thing you do with such tediousness that you forget to have some damn fun. 

Like the faint smell of a cherry pie on a window ledge, I’m following the scent of where the future will take me, instead of toiling with fitting all the little pieces together. 


Do you ever feel like a victim in your daily life?

You have to work, you have to get food to feed yourself, you have to pay the rent and bills.

But why do we to act like we have to be so unhappy to just live our lives?

We live in one of the most incredible places where we can do pretty much whatever we want, yet we act like we’re held captive to some outside driving force.

What if the work we did was actually a privilege?

What if we decided that working and paying for things was a great honor – one that many people are not able to have?


Micah and I have begun to do yoga together and while I’m there, I realize how insane I really am.

There are some things that are really easy to lose sight of: the blessing of having a life long love, the ability to be a peacemaker, the delicate balance of beauty in life.

There is so much to busy our minds. Which seems trite, but I mean woah is there ever. 

As I write now, my cat is curled up next to me sleeping, Micah is across the room working, and all is calm. I’m able to think and be in this moment.

A guy at a bar once told me (and Kasandra) that whenever he feels like he’s leaving the moment he’s in, he’ll wiggle his pinky toe. It brings him back to the moment he’s in, it makes him realize that he is in this space of time for a reason and he’s missing reality if he doesn't pay attention.

When we’re in a very difficult and tense pose during yoga, our instructor guides us to think about what is causing tension in our minds as we stretch.

Mine is always this: frustration. Frustration that I can’t do the pose (though I pretend I'm flexible), frustration that there are people choose to bring pain instead of healing, frustration at my own limitations in work and life and relationships.

This causes Micah and I to talk about calibrating. Calibrating when we feel we're spacing out of moments, causing a disjointed relationship in our marriage and life around us. Intentionally living a more mindful life, journeying through the beautiful bends and (sometimes painful) stretches that create the motion of our world. 

And we calibrate.